KJ, no way

Kendall-Jackson 2005 Chardonnay “Vintner’s Reserve” (California) – The wine: massively inoffensive, and thus among its peers (mass-market chardonnay for people who want “a glass of chardonnay”) it’s actually decent, and lacks the clumsy flaws of many of its competitors. Big, yellow doofus fruit is pretty much all there is, but it’s probably enough. The label: well, that’s a different story. First, there’s the long-ridiculous “Vintner’s Reserve,” which never meant anything (there’s no non-reserve) and is now, amusingly, copyrighted. Good luck with that one, Mr. Jackson. And then there’s the wildly insulting “Jackson Estates Grown,” of which much is made on both the front and rear labels. I get a kick out of Jess Jackson’s definition of “estate grown”: “[…] this indicates that my family either owns or controls the vineyards […]”. That’s right: “estate,” chez KJ, now means vineyards that they don’t own. Vineyards from which they buy fruit. You know, the thing a négociant does, the opposite of which the concept of “estate” fruit was invented to indicate. If Jackson and his crew weren’t so damned litigious, I’d use the word that comes immediately to mind here. (6/08)